Little Brother’s Down Bad

We already knew that Yankee fans are bottom of the barrel human beings. Example 1 would be those two schmucks on the right field line of the World Series last year that tried to snap Betts’ arm off so he couldn’t catch a foul ball. They were unsuccessful and received a rightfully deserved ban.

They lost Juan Soto in the offseason to their new big brother, The New York Mets, and just can’t seem to get over it. Last night up 2 runs in the bottom of the 8th inning with Jazz Chisholm at the plate (one of the hottest hitters on the Yankees to start the year) and the crowd errupted into “Fuck Juan Soto” chants. God Damn, we knew Yankee fans sucked, but now they’re just a straight up desperate ex. Crying and whining because they were rejected. Get over it, you entitled man baby fucks. Leave Soto alone he’s happier now.

Chanting “Fuck Juan Soto” while you’re team is winning late in the game is little brother activity to the highest degree. Juan Soto is living rent free in every Yankees fans’ head. They keep thinking maybe if Judge caught that ball in center things would be different, hoping and praying they can go back in time and sign Soto.

I think what’s hurting Yankees fans the most is the rejection. Soto didn’t pick the Mets because they offered him a little more money ($65 million is nothing when you already have $700 million), he picked the Mets because that is where he wanted to be. And Yankees fans can’t get over that simple fact that he didn’t want you and he never wanted you. You were a fling for him, a means to an end, a lonely one night stand. He didn’t want you and your little brains can’t comprehend the rejection.

Soto has moved on, he’s richer, happier, and in a better situation. Soto isn’t losing an ounce of sleep over his jealous ex. The same can’t be said for Yankees fans. I mean could you be anymore childish and petty. You’re mad at a player for picking a better situation. All the Yankees have done for the last 15 years is underachieve. And you the Yankees fans have let that happen. One of the loudest fan bases in all of sports has let the Yankees stew in mediocrity year in and year out. Maybe you guys aren’t one of the best fan bases in all of sports anymore. You used to demand excellence, demand World Series. Now you’re happy getting your ass kicked by the Astros, Dodgers, or whoever you face in the playoffs. This is how you’ve become the little brother of New York Sports. Get used to being the little brother because King Cohen is here to stay. All Hail King Cohen, All Hail Juan Soto, and Fuck the New York Yankees bunch of fucking scumbags.